Thursday, May 28

So. No excersize for a while. I'm scheduled for surgery on Wed. Not solid so it's just draining the thing. The more I think about it, if the cyst is "filling the pelvis" maybe that's why I can't get rid of these dang UTIs? Could need emergency surgery before then but it's highly unlikely cause the cyst is so wedged in there it's not likely to cause a tortion.

I love being a girl.

Wednesday, May 27

Frustration.

So, before I update with the 5miler race report. I have to vent.

You all know I've been having health issues. Frequent UTIs and my CT scan on the 5th showed an abnormal liver, cysts on ovaries and kidneys, pectus excavatum, etc. MRI with the liver was "fine" on the 14th. Went to urologist and girlie doctor yesterday. Need to, but can't have a cysto because the doctor thinks I'd be septic because I'm so dehydrated and my UTI is so severe at this point. Girlie doctor rechecked LFTs (which I just found out are "fine" according to her nurse) and had an ultrasound scheduled because my cyst (that I was just told we'd have to watch and wait) is quadruple the size of my ovary. Not a watch and wait kind of thing. Depending on this ultrasound, if the cyst is the smaller we just watch and keep doing ultrasounds until it's gone. If it's the same size or larger (the doctor could still feel it on physical exam which had me worried) we need to talk surgery to remove it. If it looks on the ultrasound like it's solid, they may need to take my ovary out as well. I'm just frustrated at my PCP cause he made the cysts seem like no big deal, every one gets them. I guess that's why doctors have specialities and I guess that I'm glad I had my girlie doctor appointment this time of the year.

Yeah that's a heck of a lot to absorb in a few short weeks. I'm kind of a mess right now. I'm pushing fluids which I hate and I was chilled and yicky this morning. Thankfully I got a staff reduction today for the whole 12 hours so I was able to reschedule my ultrasound which was this Friday to this morning so I should know more sooner rather than later.


Well. The 5miler was dismal. I finished in 1:02:27. The race itself was fun except to get a parking spot in the vicinity of the race you had to show up at 7:30 for a 9am start. But I had fun cheering on all the 1mile race finishers so that helped pass the time. I walked during the race and had low abdominal pain, surprise surprise. What else is new? Turns out I can't run a mile any more. But when I haven't consistently worked out since...the beginning of April! What do I expect, right? I guess that's what makes me a runner. I'm basically back to square one and I'll have to get my endurance and speed back again sometime. But I'll get out there. Right now I can't go a few minutes without the urge to pee so I guess it's indoors on the treadmill for now. Ugh. I hate this feeling.

I signed up a friend (who's brand new to running) and myself for a 5K at the end of June. And I do need to start a training plan soon. Thanks for the advice people. I think I'll probably do an augmentation of the sports fitness and RW smartcoach.

Later.

kelly

Saturday, May 23

Did a three mile run this morning. Had to walk, surprise surprise. But I always feel better after I've run. I ran with a new running buddy today, an old college roommate who's going to be training for the Omaha Marathon in Sept. We're both doing the 5mile race on Monday, she's the reason I signed up actually. I was glad to see she wasn't racing ahead of me. I always worry that I'm holding my running buddy's back. She also didn't mind walking when I felt I had to. Again, with the bladder pain today, and I'm constantly the last few days feeling really full. All the time. I have to force myself to eat. If I didn't know any better I'd say I might be pregnant but that's not possible. At least I hope not with the CTs and MRIs I've had recently you think they'd see a baby, right? Ah the worries of being a girl. Be thankful guys.

So, I think it's time I stop dilly-dallying and start picking a training program. I found a few online, Marathon Rookie, I liked the name of the site, sounds less intimidating. Marathon Training, Hal, Sport Fitness Advisor, and First.

They all look pretty legit. Anyone have any suggestions? I'd like to run about 4 or 5 days a week with some swimming cause, well it's summer and I needs me a tan.

Anyone have a plan that worked really well for their first marathon? One where they finished in a time they couldn't even believe?! That would be awesome. I'd like to finish the marathon and maybe beat Katie Holmes and finish in under 5:29:58. We'll see.

Any help would be appreciated.

Tuesday, May 19

I'm back.

So...a lot to update. I'll start with me, cause I know you all were very worried. :D The MRI was negative for problems in the liver. I'm still on antibiotics till I see a urologist next Tuesday. Just switched to a new one today cause I'm still having symptoms with little relief for a few days then back with pain. It's distracting and frustrating!

While I was gone, I went to my sister's graduation in Portland. Here's a few highlights in pictures!

This sign greeted us as we deboarded the plane in Vegas. We thought it was hilarious.



I'm sorry, but me dancing with my grandpa - awesome. He's the best lead.



Like any good big sis, I gave my sister a gift that made us both cry. That's her "talk amongst yourselves" face.



Mags - all graduated. That's me, Maggie, Dad, and Grady. What's left of our family.



We went back to the vineyard we were married at, how romantical.



Best corner in Portland. Hands down.



Us at the Monday Portland Beavers game. Go Beavs!



Visited Multnomah falls.



Yes, I was that tourist.



So, even though he was in one of these "highlight" pictures, the hubby did get sick of pictures. And I wanted to crop my face out of this one cause it was raining off and on this day and my hair was ueber icky. But then you wouldn't have gotten the full effect.



Highlight of the trip - meeting Jen from runningstories! We had a few drinks with her and her husband. Very cool people. Too bad I was too shy to get a run in. And I would have probably been too sore anyways.



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Ran today with the hubby. Took Garmie out for a run around the block. Turns out, around the block is about 1.21 miles. And, when we weren't walking we held a 9:30ish pace. Go us. Not a bad bunny for someone who never runs, right? He could tell he had pain in his foot though, so no more for a little while.

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I just signed up for a 5mile memorial day run with my former roomie from college and her sister. Should be fun. Wish me luck!

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So, in sad news. My baby. Buttercup:



Probably has cancer. Last Thursday, when I had my MRI, Buttercup had an ultrasound. They found a mass in her liver and multiple abdominal lymphnodes that were enlarged. They were able to biopsy the lymphnodes with a FNA and we should maybe have results soon. Now, it's killing me, breaking my heart to see her sick. She's consistantly lost weight the last few months, she's now a meak 7.5 when she's normally a healthy happy 10pounder. She only eats wet food now and we have to bring it to her. Right now she's sleeping behind the open office door behind me.



I'm getting better now that she's eating a little more, and this afternoon I was greeted with a weak meow. I think she developed a sinus infection in her probable immunosupression and is now on antibiotics. She's gotten a few doses so hopefully she'll feel a little better. She sneezed all weekend, and she's not purring. Do you think that purring might be hindered with a sinus infection? I hope it's not cause she's in pain or sad. I don't think we'll put her through chemo. As much as it's crushing, I don't want to prolong a life of someone who doesn't know what's happening, you know? She wouldn't know what the chemo was or that it was going to maybe help her stay with us a little while longer. It just seems (and this is how I have to phrase it now so that I can deal with it, no judgement meant to anyone who's chosen chemo) selfish. I have to think of it that way. Just have to. She is my baby and I do not want her to suffer. And, it's not like it's in one lymphnode, her liver's already comprimised. She'll probably have nausea and vomiting with or without chemo. Tomorrow we're having a friend from work, and now photographer who did our engagement photos come to our house to take our pictures as a family. Just us and the two girls.


So, with that. I have to go finish straightening up for the photo shoot. Have a happy rest of the Tuesday everyone. Glad to be back. I'm getting caught up on blog posts, just not commenting a whole lot. So much reading!

Tuesday, May 5

Got a laundry list of things wrong on my CT from the personal phone call from my doctor a few minutes ago. Never a good sign when the nurse calls you and says "The doctor is going to call you personally when he's done seeing his other patients to talk to you about your scan".

Nothing life threatening, just things that need to be checked out.

I have a theory that most of it stems from being 3 1/2mo premature. With no baseline, who knows?

Update: MRI when I'm back in town on Thursday. This is going to a fun filled few weeks.

Monday, May 4

CT scan of abdomen and pelvis. Tomorrow morning, will hopefully know more before I go out of town on Wed.


Wish me luck

1/2 marathon.

Yup. 13.1 miles. In the books. Count it!

Running buddy and I headed off for Lincoln around 3:15pm yesterday. Checked into our hotel which was pretty nice, full kitchen. It was one of those "suites" hotels where it's like a little studio apartment. So remember how maybe Friday or Sat morning I was all "I feel so much better health wise...". Yeah, not so much. Saturday I felt so bad for running buddy. I was knuckle white from the pain for about 12 hours. I took ibuprofen, urostat, lots of water, anything. I've got a call into my doctor today to talk this over. Thankfully by the evening I was feeling a bit better. Turns out we had missed the expo. So we just picked up our numbers and posed for pictures cause we're dorky like that. Ate some pasta in a tent with other fellow marathoners and 1/2 marathoners. Grabbed ice cream and water and headed back to the car. I marveled at the start line and really started to get nervous. I was going to run a 1/2 marathon! They expected me to be able to run 13.1 miles all at once. Yikes. They must not know me very well. We made our very own expo by stopping by the Lincoln Running Co store and grabbing these cute shirts that say "run lincoln". Which I was excited about cause I wasn't thrilled with my race shirt. Sat night we popped some popcorn, I had some chocolate we watched movies, painted our nails to match our shirts, tried on our new clothes, pinned our numbers, etc.

Went to bed about 10:30 like good girls and woke up at about 5am. Slept really well once I got to sleep. Woke up nauseous, nervous. I get all cold and shivery and nauseous when I'm nervous. Not a good combo when running buddy wants you to eat some breakfast. I ate 2, maybe 3 bites or peanut butter toast, tried to polish off the peanut butter in my little container. Sipped some water. That was about it.

We got to the start line right as they were finishing up the national anthem (had to make a potty stop first). Jumped in the 9:00 pace group. We just wanted to get in line. And we were off, 6minutes to cross the start line. I do this at races, the start, for how exciting it is, mentally I just think "I'm not going to do this without walking, I'm not". Start this mental "it's just so far the finish!" business. So, I looked at my watch 5min in and said "maybe I'll walk every 20minutes, so I can walk in 15minutes". Which is stupid. Running buddy knew that and said "no we're doing great, we should just keep running". But I'd made up my mind and my body knew that and I looked forward to that 20minutes so much. At about 1.5miles or 15min in, my left knee started to hurt. Like that IT band pain I'd been having and that had kept me from running for the last 2-3weeks. Not good. At 3.5miles it side lined me. It was this curl your shoulders jab of a pain that stopped me in my tracks. Poor running buddy ran ahead. During this race, for once in our lives, running buddy and I had nothing to say. Nothing. We caught back up when I could breathe and hobbled my way back to running again. I told her I guess it would be okay for her to go on without me. And like that, no more running buddy. I tried to keep her in my sights but I had decided to walk the downhills cause that also gave my knee pain and I lost her.

I knew that the hubbys and chitlins were waiting about mile 6, so that thought really pushed me again from about 4.5-7.0. That's right, didn't see them till 7 ish. I was sad cause I thought that maybe they had seen Tiffany and then gone back to their cars to leave for the finish. Maybe I really was too slow for them. I was teary eyed and said "I lost Tiffany". Tiffany's husband was so nice he said "She's just 5minutes ahead, not too far ahead of you, don't worry". My husband yelled "Are you okay?" I looked over my shoulder and gave him the so so hand motion. I kept running till maybe 7.2 when I thought I'd stop at some trees and stretch my IT and my quads. Bad idea! My left leg hurt SO bad. Again with the searing pain. I walked to the next water station getting passed along the way. Took my shot block (chocolate of course) and a full cup of water. This was the first time I'd taken a whole cup of water, which maybe why I felt so bad later in the day. But I was too nauseous earlier on to drink any more. I walked off and on till the 10mile mark. When I started saying "I can run 3miles, I can run 3miles". But I couldn't. At mile 11-12 I had to power walk it. I couldn't go two steps without the really bad pain. When I tried, I had some guy step out and say "Are you going to be okay?" I must have showed the pain on my face, a lot. I badly wanted to run past Tiffany and the hubbys to show them I was strong, but no. Power walked it through the growing crowd near the finish. People were yelling "Go Kelly! You've got this finish strong!". I decided when I could see the finish line, that I'd try to run again. And I did. Surprisingly, without that much pain. I nearly sprinted to the end. I was shocked, I shed a few tears.

Along the way there were signs and supporters the entire way. Cried when I saw the sign "Your reason to run is better than anyone else's" or something like that. Without my running buddy, I closed my eyes and I imagined I was running back home towards the lake with my mom. I imagined telling her all about finishing my first half. I won't tell her, and I can't run with her, but ... ack, I don't know where I was going with this and now I'm a mess...

Around miles 11-12 I thought, "Even if I'm walking, I'm still out here doing this". I still signed up and I'm run/walking a 1/2 marathon. Most people I talk to who aren't runners can't imagine running a mile. I'm so proud. Even if I had to walk and even if I didn't have the strongest finish time. The miles really flew by, even though I was walking some of them. The first 4miles were tough getting my head in the game but miles 6-13 really were faster than I expected.

When we got back to the hotel I hobbled into the shower and layed down in bed. After the race I had 1/2 banana and a full cup of gatorade. Drank some water on the way home, but I knew I wasn't feeling well. I sipped on gatorade and had a few m&ms which were the only thing in the apartment, and conveniently the only thing that sounded digestible at that moment. Then, as running buddy and her family left, I spent the next hour, hour and a half dry heaving in our suite bathroom. ew. After finally finishing whole gatorade and resting. I felt a bit better, I think I was just dehydrated. I polished off another shot and we hit the Wendy's on the way out of town.

Sore today, but the knee doesn't really hurt.

I can not wait to race this distance again.

Sunday, May 3

2:42:47

It was horrible.




I really want a do over.



And, I'm so doing it again next year!

Saturday, May 2

Half marathon.

So, I'm headed to Lincoln today. Feel much better health wise than I did on Monday so that's good. I'm not looking for a specific time tomorrow because I've basically taken the last two-three weeks off. I just hope I finish. I think my hubby and running buddy's family will be able to see us at mile 6 and the finish, if all works out.

Good luck to all those running this weekend, Jen, Elisa, and Mom on the Run especially. And all those I'm leaving out, I can't wait to hear all your race reports!